Real Housewives of Brentwood?

I have not met a Real Housewives season I have not enjoyed. But Real Housewives Beverly Hills is just too good. Why? It strikes really close to home..like a few miles close. Although we live in Brentwood, I often wander the streets drawing up a caricature of such creatures that roam my neck of the woods.

Said housewives:

1. Drive Range Rovers- it is key to have a car that can traverse cliffs and sand when traveling from pre-school drop off, to Spago for lunch, the gym, then Neiman Marcus for a little shopping. Then off to Whole Foods for some organic apples, gluten free bread, and sugar free granola (total- $40)

leaving Whole Foods

2. Have two kids with names like Finley and Atticus or Georgia. There is always an Orbit or Bugaboo stroller to match, along with a nanny. Okay now I am just getting jealous.

Finley

Atticus

3. Wear "The Uniform": This is not New York people. The key is to look like you are wearing cheap sweats but the joke is that they cost hundreds of dollars! HA! good places to start are with the brands FREE CITY, HARD TAIL, OR JUICY (if this was the early 2000's). Brentwood weather can be harsh getting into the 60's so UGG boots are a staple. Pair this aforementioned look with a most excellently overpriced pair of GUCCI or PRADA glasses are you are ready to hit Starbucks with Atticus for your non-fat soy chai latte!

The "Uniform"

4. Send their kids to the "top" pre-school: Now I am not sure about other people, but my memories of pre-school involve eating cheetos off the floor (mostly because my mom was a health nut and packed me carrots) and making some pretty sweet macaroni necklaces. Well, I am pretty sure the kids in preschool here are drawing up plans to reorganize the government and built hybrid cities because the steps to get your kid in quite complicated.
Step One- Join the temple.Now you ask? No, you needed to have joined years ago!
Step Two- attend mommy and me costing $600 a session. Certainly not a steep price to pay for letting you kid suck on toys, eat cheerios, and look bored during song time.
Step Three- Apply- better send that 20,000 dollar a year check in with that application. Oh and would you like to add a donation to the temple with the check?

The Benefits? your kid will belong to this preschool and you can meet other range rover driving parents who have lofty career (err I mean kindergarten) aspirations for little Atticus and Georgia.

I really do love you Brentwood and the creatures that call you home. The reality is that I am simply too cheap to follow your ways and bitter I hadn't thought of the name Atticus earlier. Atticus Osman..now there is a name that is going places.